To My Boy:

Who is no longer a child but in that middle world of two converging identities, man and child.

You are starting Middle School this week. It’s no secret, I have been nervous. OK- paranoid, terrified, pretty much a basket-case: too many recollections of the real pain I felt at your age and in your stage of life. I so want to spare you this pain, but know I have to let go.

The things I learned back then, but truly understand now:

1. People are cruel. That doesn’t change as you are an adult. But their cruelty comes from an intense pain that they carry. Remember that and don’t harbor resentment or hate for them. Don’t let their pain upset you for too long, move on. There is always a person that can love you and build you- spend your time with them.

2. You are you and it is beautiful and wonderful and unique. The things you bring to this world are needed to make it a better place and to teach and uplift those people you share it with. Don’t let anybody steal this knowledge from you. If they don’t see this light and appreciate it, they were never meant to be kept in your magnificent heart. Walk away and find those that see it and love it.

3. Don’t change for anyone. You are perfect just as you are. Maybe there are things you want to change for you…..make sure these are things that are getting in the way of you being the best you can be, and not parts of your character that other people can’t understand. See #2.

4. You are never alone. So many people love you, all of you. But sometimes people aren’t enough. In those moments, God IS. He always will be. Let go and let God.

5. There are more hard times in life than easy times but the hard times will never be equal in their sadness than the good times are in their joy. The joyful moments in your life will always outweigh the bad in their intensity and goodness. In hard times, hold on – good times are around the corner.

6. Love can change everything. There’s not enough in our world. Love with all your heart, even if it’s scary. Put yourself on the line, even if you end up getting hurt. The hurt will teach you and the love you put out there will always come back and fill you up in some way. Look for those that need love and lift them- this will always help you see a brighter day ahead.

7. You don’t have to be perfect or do things perfectly. We are all damaged in some way, we all struggle in some way or another. Don’t compare yourself to others- your view of them is always a lie. We never know what another struggles with, but one guarantee is that we all struggle and are all imperfect. This unifies us as humankind.

8. Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself. There is redemption in this world. Leave the past behind and move briskly towards the future. You’re too valuable to injure yourself with self-criticism.

9. Your value is not in your group of friends or your popularity. Your value is already within you, it has been from the time you came to be. Don’t underestimate what this knowledge can do for your life and happiness. Allow this confidence to propel you to do great things.

10. Everyone has a different journey. Don’t fear differences. Have love and compassion for each person’s journey. Keep an open mind in all things and you will be able to love more freely.